There’s nothing in sports quite like Minor League Baseball. MiLB, the home of out-of-tune National Anthem singers, the cheapest, wrinkliest hot dogs and America’s craziest promotions. We at Biz of Baseball decided to pour through hundreds of teams’ promotions in hopes of findings the most unique. We found everything from stuffed cow giveaways to erotic dancer bobbleheads; from honoring the meek to lighting a man on fire, this is the minors.
We categorized the best promotions according to how wacky (or awesome) they were:
Most Soulless Stuffed Animal Award:
Reno Aces : Lil’ Kinz Plus Cows giveaway – June 6
Most obscure player honored:
Mississippi Braves: Sid Bream – July 26
Erie Seawolves - Phil Nevin Bobble head – Sept. 2
Best TV / Movie parody:
Bowie Baysox -July 23 - CSI: Bowie –
Description says “Help solve the crime at Prince George’s stadium”
July 29 – Salute to “The Dude” Big Lebowski Tribute night
“Any fan with only nine toes gets a free ticket for the game! Between-inning promotions focus on themes from the movie, including a briefcase toss.”
Worst bobble head
This bobble has no head. It’s Skipper Leg Lamp Bobble.
Lake County Captians- July 25
Wilmington Blue Rocks - Joe Biden bobble head – July 29
Las Vegas 51s – Holly Madison Bobble head night – Aug. 24
She is an American model and television personality, best known for appearing as Hugh Hefner's number one girlfriend with Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson on the reality TV series The Girls Next Door. Holly also appeared as a contestant on the eighth season of Dancing with the Stars and "Holly World" on the E! Entertainment TV.
Carolina Mudcats – July 28 – Christmas in July –
Come on out to Five County Stadium for Christmas in July. Receive $6 box seat if you wear Christmas attire. Special promotions, fun music, Christmas presents and a Christmas sale in the souvenir store are just a few exciting things that are planned for the game.
Another team did Christmas in July…in May. Can’t award that.
Worst / Best Musical Act:
The answer to both is the Columbus Clippers – Aug 20 – Foreigner sings the national anthem
Bob Feller – Columbus Clippers – May 16
Joe Frazier – Oklahoma City RedHawks - June 12
Can’t Believe it’s Real Award
Modesto Nuts – Stitch ‘N Pitch
If you like to knit, crochet, cross-stitch, or any other kind of needlepoint the Modesto Nuts will host a night at the ballpark just for you!
Corpus Christi Hooks - Toothbrush holder – July 19
Arkansas Travelers – Midget Wrestling Farewell Appearance – Only in Arkansas?
For the second time this season, L'il Kato, Puppet "The Psycho Dwarf", Beautiful Bobby and TO battle for the World Midget Wrestling Tag Team Championship.
Biggest Tease promotion:
Orem Owlz – Michael Jordan Night – Aug. 2
You’d think either Jordan was going to be there or they’d give away a picture or something to that effect, wrong. All fans named Michael or Jordan get in free. We guarantee the real Michael Jordan will NOT be in attendance.
The Owlz also have an “8th child per family gets in free” night….sounds like a reality show.
Ft. Myers Miracle – Possible Brett Favre Night – Aug. 9
Will the Miracle honor Brett Favre on Monday night? At this point all the information out there is purely of the speculative nature. Show up Monday night to find out or maybe sometime later in the season.
Hickory Crawdads - Tiger Woods Night- May 20
On field promotions based on Tiger's fall from grace, tiger will be throwing out a first pitch.
I wasn’t sure whether to put this under biggest tease, seeing that Mr. Woods will not be appearing for the Crawdads, or riskiest promotion for obvious reasons. Celebrating his “fall from grace” could get messy….is Perkins a sponsor?
Riskiest Promotion Award:
West Michigan Whitecaps – Aug. 26 – Pink Floyd Tribute with Laser Show
70s flashbacks and seizures waiting to happen?
Inland Empire 66ers – Skate Deck Giveaway – Aug 1
Giving away skateboards with no wheels is a tragedy waiting to happen.
Ft. Myers Miracle – Public Apology Night – Aug 10
Jer-ry, Jer-ry, Jer-ry!
Savannah Sand Gnats - Man on Fire to Circle the Bases! – Aug 14
Guinness World Record Holder Ted Batchelor will circle the bases while on fire after the Savannah Sand Gnats game against the Kannapolis Intimidators on Saturday, August 14.
I don’t know about you, but if I was 10-years old and saw a flaming man running around the field, I’d be terrified.
Worst Act….Ever Award:
Breakin’ BBoy McCoy
The Round Rock Express seriously went for this:
When BBoy McCoy - who at first simply blends in with the other bat boys and ball boys, by picking up bats or balls, whiping up the court, pushing brooms, and taking water to the umps or refs - gets his chance to shine, he steals the show! The surprise performance of BBoy McCoy is something your fans will always remember! He's got smooth moves and fancy footwork. He's got clever, robotic dance routines that are unreal. And, he's got charisma and showmanship your fans will love!
On BBoy’s website, there’s a tour schedule….with nothing listed, I’m shocked.
Wilmington Blue Rocks – “Boy Meets World” Night – Aug 10
The promotion doesn’t even say if members of the cast are going to be there. I’d hope Mr. Feeney retired by now, but who knows, maybe his BMW didn’t have a retirement package or 401k.
Most ironically named promotion:
Salt Lake Bees – Zero Fatalities Post-Game Kids Run
Here’s to hoping.
Brevard County Manatees – Vampire Night / Blood Drive – June 28
Most Uniquely Generous Promotion:
Hickory Crawdads – Unemployment Night – Aug. 4
Show your NCESC issued debit card or printed online statement and receive up to four complimentary tickets.
Matthew Coller is a senior staff member of the Business of Sports Network, and is a freelance writer. He can be followed on Twitter
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